Murky Memories
by CrackityJane
Summary: Set during OOTP. Snape's pensieve has been discovered by Lucius, along with some very private memories. What will Lucius make of the secrets he has unlocked? Snape/Lucius slash
1. Chapter 1

**This is set during OOTP around the time when Snape begins to teach Harry about the art of Occlumency. Fearing that Potter would break deeper into his thoughts during the lessons, Snape removed certain memories from his mind as a precaution; memories that he wished to keep very much to himself but are about to be discovered by none other than Lucius Malfoy.**

**Methinks I'll break up the memories into separate chapters. They'll be short enough but they'll be easier to understand that way...**

**Warning: Lucius/Snape slash business!**

**Disclaimer: All JKR's characters! I'd be a very rich girl lazing about in the Hamptons if I did own them. But sadly I live beside a bog in the middle of nowhere * sigh * **

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Lucius Malfoy marched - cane in hand - into his friend's gloomy living quarters, expecting to find the raven-haired man seething over countless parchments of shoddy student work. But Severus Snape was nowhere to be seen. Presuming that he would arrive back soon, Lucius took a seat behind Snape's desk and waited, looking downwards as his breath turned to steam in the cool dungeon air that surrounded him.

He was in Hogwarts that evening on business – observing Dolores Umbridge's handiwork to be precise - and had been more than satisfied with the changes to the school. He was especially pleased to hear about a particular punishment involving a charmed pen that had been dealt out to that brat Potter. It had been long overdue...

As he leaned back in the deeply uncomfortable seat, a glint of silver suddenly caught Lucius' eye. He sat up straight to find that it was coming from a stone basin in the far corner of the room.

_'Snape's pensieve'_ Lucius realised with a twinge of curiosity. He always wondered what Snape was frowning about as he watched him day after day threading tiny silver strands of memories from his stressed-looking temples.

The Blonde stood up gingerly and approached the pensieve with hungry eyes. He _had_ to know what Severus was hiding from him. He simply couldn't stand how private his friend always was, despite the fact that Lucius constantly told him all of his own thoughts. It just wasn't fair that Snape should know so much about him, and yet Lucius remained in the dark about him, even after all these years.

He looked down into the pensieve's water-like depths. Knowing that all the secrets Snape kept so obsessively hidden were right there in front of them was too much to bear, and so after a quick glance backwards to scan the room, Lucius dipped his head into the murky, swirling substance.

The surroundings of the room instantly disappeared and Lucius was plunged into darkness. Moments later a familiar setting began to form around him.

'_Filch's office?' _Lucius wondered with a furrowed brow as the door just inches to his left flew open.

He watched on from the shadows, slightly disappointed that it wasn't a more exciting setting, as his 7th year self strode into the room with a baffled looking Filch following in his footsteps, trying to keep up.

'So you're telling me there's some child crammed into my closet down the back there?' he questioned pointing a bony finger towards a door at the other end of the room.

'For the fourth time, Mr. Filch - _yes_, that is exactly what I'm telling you,' Lucius snapped back, annoyed that he had to deal with such a simpleton, 'Now if you wouldn't mind, I'd like your permission to blast open that door.'

Filch looked intimidated by the towering Lucius and nodded without hesitation, taking a few steps backwards.

Turning back to face the door, the platinum blonde teenager raised his wand and announced 'Reducto'. The door flew open, and squirming on the ground at the other side of it was a 12 year old Severus Snape bound up in ropes with his green tie stuffed in his mouth.

'Oooh-fuff!' he uttered as he stared up at Lucius, wide-eyed.

'You're lucky your attackers couldn't stop themselves from boasting so loudly about their latest prank on you. Otherwise I wouldn't have heard them and you would've been found dead in this cupboard next spring,' Lucius sighed, throwing his eyes up to the ceiling as he bent down to Severus and muttered 'Diffindo' at the knots that held the ropes together.

'This tedious routine we have fallen into of you getting into trouble and I invariably coming to save you is beginning to grate on me, Severus. It will not do; you simply _must_ learn to stand up for yourself in front of those Gryffindor shit heads – if not for yourself, then for Slytherin's reputation,' Lucius counselled, taking the tie from the boy's mouth.

Severus, clearly embarrassed that he was found in such a ridiculous position by such a respected and popular prefect, stood up to show that he was considerably shorter than the elegantly long-limbed 18-year-old Lucius.

'But there's always four of them, Lucius. I can't match them,' he mumbled looking down at his feet.

'No? Four of them there may be, but I'm sure they don't have one decent brain cell to rub between them. I was under the impression that you were a highly intelligent wizard, Severus. Clearly I was mistaken - '

'No! You weren't mistaken,' Severus interrupted with a determined look in his eyes, 'I'll prove it to you.'

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**And scene. Sorry about the lack of smut in this chapter, but not to worry, you'll find it later on. Thanks for reading and feel free to review! **


	2. Chapter 2

Lucius was fascinated with what he was seeing before him; how interesting it was to watch the beginning of his and Severus' friendship unfold. But he was to see no more as the room abruptly began to dissolve before his eyes, only to materialise again in the form of his fire-lit study at the Malfoy Manner. Surprised to learn from the calendar hanging on the wall that it was four years previously, Lucius wondered what could possibly have happened that evening to make it so memorable.

He took in the scene in front of him from a darkened corner; his past self was leaning against the mantelpiece above the blazing fire with a goblet of what presumably was Firewhiskey being swished in his right hand, while Severus sat nearby in a large armchair watching him closely.

'You know Severus,' Lucius began, taking a few careful steps closer, 'I was taking a walk around the manor yesterday and you happened to cross my thoughts.' He paused in his steps to smile down at Severus, the firelight glinting in his ever-menacing silver eyes.

'Oh?' Severus responded with a raised brow.

'Yes. And I couldn't help but think back to our youth,' he continued as his eyes glazed over and his expression suddenly turned stern, 'My God, we were so naive then. We had absolutely no idea of the Dark Lord's praise and glory that was just around the corner waiting for us.'

'Anyway,' he smiled again, snapping out of his daze, 'A vivid memory came to me all of a sudden of that night we played a little game with that idiotic muggle and his car. I'll always cherish the look of pure confusion on his chubby face – he was ready to burst into tears of course.'

Severus watched Lucius chuckle softly and bring the goblet up to his lips. A blanket of silence smothered the room as Lucius looked intensely at Severus once again, and moved even closer until he was standing right in front of the now anxious-looking raven-haired man.

'And then I recalled that strange moment afterwards when we were lying on the grass,' purred Lucius, 'You remember that, don't you Severus?'

Snape's eyes widened in fear before his head snapped downwards.

'I – I, er, I'm not sure what you mean Lucius.'

Lucius walked towards the rear of the armchair until he was looking down at the back of Severus' head and persisted:

'Oh Severus, you _must_ remember. It may have been twelve years ago but I doubt an incident such as that could ever leave your mind.'

Snape, simply shaking his head, remained in a panic-stricken silence and gasped seemingly involuntarily as Lucius put a hand on his shoulder from behind and bent his platinum head down to his ear to whisper:

'Never mind then.'

After seeing the incident take place from a more sober angle, the present-day Lucius felt ashamed that he had toyed with Severus, his most trusted friend, like that. But he remembered how the deceptive feeling of bravery the whiskey always brought on had urged him to delve deeper into the matter that he so longed to explore.

He was relieved to escape the discomfort of the scene when he was again thrown into blackness in preparation for Snape's next memory.

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**Bear with me people!**


	3. Chapter 3

Lucius groaned with distress upon re-appearing as he realised that he had been sent into the very memory of the incident his past self had just been speaking about. He recognised the muggle town that sprawled out before him. It was situated just a few miles from the Malfoy Manor in Wiltshire where he had grown up and had since become the owner of. There in front of him he saw the moonlight shine on the heads of the 22-year-old Severus and 28-year-old Lucius. They were crouched on top of a hill that overlooked their target whom they had been tormenting for some time on the street below.

'Mobiliarbus,' the young Lucius whispered, pointing the tip of his wand towards a red 1979 Ford Bronco that hence inched two feet forward. Scurrying behind the car was it's owner who was desperately trying to catch up with it, now red-faced with frustration.

They shook with hushed laughter while the frightened man finally stumbled back from the car and began to run blindly in their direction.

'Fuck!' Lucius hissed and ducked onto the ground dragging Severus down with him.

Losing all balance from the force of Lucius' pull, Severus' body collapsed on top of Lucius' causing a winded grunt to escape from both of them.

'S-sorry,' Snape stuttered with his nose almost touching Lucius' while their torsos pressed tightly together.

Yet neither man moved an inch and instead stayed in that position, merely staring at one another while each sensed the other's shallow, rapid breathing. The fully-grown Lucius knew exactly how his younger-self was feeling at that very moment; how he had craved for Severus to do the thing he didn't have the courage to do himself. He watched the two in despair, already knowing that it wasn't to be, as the 22-year-old Severus gulped, began to tilt his head to one side and eased in towards the blonde's spread lips.

'There you are, I've been lookin' ages for you two,' exclaimed a wheezing Goyle who had just appeared at the top of the hill with an equally out-of-breath Crabbe following in his footsteps. A startled Snape sprang backwards onto his feet, avoiding Lucius' stunned gaze.

'_How alike they and their moronic sons are_,' the present-day Lucius noted as he turned to the young Crabbe and Goyle, wishing they hadn't interrupted what could have been a wonderful moment. Although the mere fact that Severus had stored this memory was wonderful in itself, Lucius noted. This particular event had been the culmination of years of what was essentially a strange friendship. They had both acknowledged that their extraordinary closeness and the all the time they constantly spent together was different to other typical male friendships, but, being an undeniably awkward subject matter, it remained unspoken of and they instead silently accepted it just as how things were between them.

Lucius badly wanted to rewind back the memory just to get one last look at the young Snape, for he feared it may be the last time he got to see his friend's face etched so intensely with desire. However, to his irritation, Lucius was launched again into another hidden corner of Severus' mind...


	4. Chapter 4

Lucius found himself once more at Hogwarts, standing at the foot of the ticking clock tower. He squinted as blinding sunlight shone into his eyes, while all around him students chatted and laughed amongst themselves. He soon spotted the same two schoolboys he had seen in the first memory, one a 1st year, the other a 7th year, sitting on a bench deep in conversation.

Lucius advanced towards them, eager to know what they were speaking about. However, before he reached them, the 12-year-old Snape had gotten to his feet and began to walk in the direction of an oncoming red-haired Hufflepuff who had his nose buried in a book. With a quick snide grin back at the 18-year-old Lucius, Snape marched straight into the small boy who dropped his book in shock.

'You idiot!' Snape barked at the cowering boy, 'Why don't you look where you're going in future!'

'I'm sorry, I – I didn't see you coming. It was an acci - '

'Don't you dare talk to me, you disgusting mudblood.' spat Snape with another glance back at the smiling 7th year Lucius to make sure he was watching, 'I'd never waste my time listening to filth like you.'

And with that, he walked back to his older friend, leaving the Hufflepuff standing there, utterly aghast at what had just happened.

The 44-year-old Lucius was left slightly astonished by this display because he was so accustomed to the normally quiet and brooding adult Severus. He would never show such open hatred of a person nowadays, opting instead to throw out a sarcastic comment or two. And Lucius rather preferred him that way; it made him laugh after all.

He watched, a little saddened, as the young Severus received a congratulatory pat on the back from his younger self. He saw now, from the way the boy beamed up at his blonde-haired friend in complete adoration, that Severus hadn't really wanted to say that to the Hufflepuff. He had merely wanted to impress his older friend whom he clearly admired greatly.

Lucius sensed a lump rising in his neck and, feeling embarrassed, he turned away and cleared his throat, attempting to compose himself...


	5. Chapter 5

No sooner had Lucius turned his back on the scene than his surroundings had begun to blur familiarly again and take the shape of a gloomy alleyway plunged into the darkness of night. Lucius recognised Spinner's End easily. He had paid many visits to this place - where Snape insisted on living - through their years of friendship.

Hurried footsteps and the knocking of a cane echoed from the cobbled ground behind, and Lucius turned on his heel to find it was none other than himself, looking haggard and panic-stricken. Following his past-self to end of the cul-de-sac where Severus' house was located, his own memory of this event came flooding back to him.

It was two years ago and was set on a day that Lucius had endured a particularly stressful encounter with the Dark Lord – a day that had severely changed the tone of their relationship ever since.

Both Luciuses were startled out of their thoughts by Snape suddenly appearing at his doorway, still fully dressed despite the unearthly hour. Lucius was hardly surprised at this though - his friend was a bad sleeper at the best of times.

'Lucius,' Snape greeted him earnestly, his face pinched with confusion and a hint of concern, 'Has something happened?'

But all the Lucius of Snape's memory managed to do was look at him with anguished eyes as he tried to find words to explain what he had just been through. The present-day Lucius looked on at himself with pity. He remembered all too well how he had struggled to fight back tears which threatened to sting his eyes at any moment.

Snape soon realised that he was in no fit state to talk and so opened his door further, gesturing for the blonde man to come in. The two Luciuses stepped inside and both felt instantly comforted by the familiarity of the tiny house.

The present-day Lucius leaned against the wall of the tiny sitting room with his arms folded thoughtfully as he waited for the memory to unravel. But, of course, he already knew every word they would say, every movement, every exchanged glance off by heart because it was never far from his own thoughts. The fact that Severus shared the same interest - no, _obsession – _with this memory as he did was a relief... perhaps even a source of excitement.

The two men chose an armchair each beside the glowing fireplace and sat facing each other with a small coffee table between them that was almost completely obscured by countless pieces of parchment strewn upon it. Potion recipes, no less. Although there were only those three simple pieces of furniture in Snape's sitting room, it still could not have fitted another person inside. The house was hardly what you would call spacious.

Snape conjured a goblet of firewhiskey for his visibly shaken friend who took it with an appreciative nod and decided to finally break the silence.

'I presume you've had more harsh words from the Dark Lord. Lucius, you must at least pretend that you are his most loyal follower at all times. Act otherwise and he will target you, exactly like he did tonight.'

Snape stopped and sighed, looking across solemnly at the hunched-over Lucius who's face was no longer visible from behind the long curtains of platinum blonde, 'I'm sure you realise that he may very well threaten the safety of Narcissa and Draco.'

That had been the final straw for Lucius who's shoulders began to tremble as he shook with bitter, tearful gasps.

'Don't – don't you think I – I know that Severus?' weeped Lucius between breathless sobs, 'Don't you – think I go through that in my mind every second – of every_ single_ day?'

He finally raised his head to show a face that was completely distorted by grief with tears trickling down his ghostly cheeks.

Snape looked awkward as he sat there regarding Lucius.

_'Christ, this is pathetic,' _observed Lucius, shaking his head while his past-self dropped the goblet he was holding and put his face in his hands. But he suddenly grew happy when he saw Snape rise from his seat and carefully approach the other man. He knelt down on the cold wooden floor beside Lucius' armchair and put an unsure hand on his friend's knee.

'I'm sorry that I was so blunt, but I wanted to ensure that you were aware of the danger that you – that _all_ of us – are in,' Snape pointed out quietly, clearly finding it difficult to look at Lucius in this state.

'Oh, I'm aware. I'm all too aware,' croaked Lucius. He looked up at Snape again. As his eyes took in the image of his dears friend's uneasy face, his sobs began to subside and his mouth gradually broke into a sad smile. He rested a hand that was glistening with tears on Snape's shoulder and leaned in closer.

'Sometimes I swear you're the only reason I'm still alive Severus, you wise old bastard,' he said with a hoarse voice.

The onlooking Lucius' stomach tightened at that very moment.

Snape had opened his mouth to reply to Lucius' crass statement, but was caught short by the Blonde tilting his head and pulling him into a rough kiss.

The present-day Lucius suddenly felt awash with a prickly warmth as he watched his younger-self, who was no doubt also drowning in a sea of bliss, pressing his eager lips to Snape's.

Lucius examined the kiss from a few feet away, very interested to see what it had actually looked like. Severus' hands remained as they had been before; absolutely motionless as if in a state of shock. But Lucius did notice that his eyes were closed – a sure sign that he was finding it endurable at least. After five bizarre seconds they both pulled away, wide-eyed and deathly silent.

Lucius made no objections when he was once again plucked from the memory because he already knew what came after that; they had both stood up waveringly, simply pretended as if nothing had happened, and went their separate ways. Needless to say it had all been quite an awkward affair which Lucius would later state as being 'purely stress and trauma-related' – something that he soon regretted because it had merely served as a way for them to be thrown straight back into denial and ignorance once again...


	6. Chapter 6

Snape's cramped sitting-room was soon replaced by the unmistakable Slytherin common-room, with it's low ceilings and greenish glow from the lamps that dotted the place. Lucius looked upwards at the glass ceiling over his head that exposed the depths of the lake surging above. As he took in his surroundings affectionately, he heard a voice echoing down the passageway to the common-room.

'Lucius?' the black-haired boy called out as he scanned around for his friend. Not finding him in there, Snape continued on his search through the hall that led to the boy's dormitories. Lucius followed closely behind him.

'Lucius? Lucius, are you in here? That boy Goyle told me I'd find you in - '

Snape stopped in his tracks in the middle of the corridor. A deep shade of burgundy began to rise in his cheeks. Lucius was quite puzzled.

_Severus doesn't blush... _

The young Severus appeared to be having some kind of internal battle with himself by the looks of his contorted facial expression. Then, taking five steps back in the direction he had come, Snape suddenly stopped outside the door of the boy's wash room, which Lucius now noticed was slightly ajar, and peered in.

_What the....? _Lucius questioned, and in an effort to understand what in the world Severus was staring at, he too approached the door.

With a gasp, he saw that there, just meters away inside the washroom, was the naked body of his 18-year-old self, craning his head back to catch the jet of water that was streaming out of the shower head above and washing down his back.

Lucius gaped open-mouthed down at the boy standing next to him. He too had a similar expression on his face, only he was focused on the platinum blonde teenager inside.

_So Snape is human after all... _Lucius finally beamed. He had to admit, as he admired his young body proudly, he_ was _devilishly handsome as a teenager. All long limbs and smooth skin. He had been thin - but not scrawny. Tall – but not lanky. Unfortunately for Severus, he had been both scrawny _and_ lanky as a teenager, but Lucius never minded that. His friend was witty and very smart, which more than made up for his lack of good looks.

The two stood there outside the washroom door for what must have been ten minutes straight as the young Lucius, completely oblivious, scrubbed gently at his arms and legs and stood back occasionally to rinse away the suds in the steamy flow of water.

Snape seemed frozen to the spot and simply gazed , dumbfounded, at the boy. The middle-aged Lucius reached out a hand to him. He didn't know why seeing as he knew he wouldn't be able to feel anything, but he couldn't stop himself. And as expected, his fingers merely grasped at thin air. What a fitting metaphor it was for the state of Lucius' and Snape's friendship; there plainly to see before their eyes, but ultimately what they truly wanted was impossible. Untouchable.

Lucius was jolted from his thoughts when the boy beside him suddenly darted away, back in the direction of the common-room. He soon realised why as the young Lucius inside turned off the shower and picked up a towel which he swung around his waist and fastened in front. Then, scraping his long hair out of his eyes, the teenager walked out of the washroom and started down the same direction Snape had left in.

Lucius, who pursued him, grinned, utterly amused and downright flattered that Snape held this simple memory so dear. There had definitely been more to this pre-adolescent boy than he had been aware of at the time.

Both Lucius' arrived in the common-room to find Snape sitting on one of the leather sofas, his eyes fixed on his shoes as if they were the most interesting things in the world, while he had a cushion positioned on his lap.

_'No doubt to hide his erection' _Lucius smirked to himself. This was all very entertaining.

The young Lucius paused when he saw the boy, obviously not thinking anything of the fact that he was half naked.

'Severus? What on earth are you doing here - I thought everyone would be at dinner?' he enquired.

Snape looked up pretending to be startled by Lucius' entrance.

'Oh, Lucius. I, er, I wasn't hungry. I thought I'd come see if you were here. And you are,' he added with a nervous and wholly unconvincing smile.

The teenager scrutinized him for a moment and finally shrugged his shoulders as he flopped down on the sofa beside the boy.

'I wasn't hungry either,' he said, 'Never have much of an appetite after a quickie!' And with that he leaned over to the boy, grabbed him in a head lock, and with a laugh he playfully ruffled his dark hair.

After Snape managed to pull away, faking a grin, he looked at the elegant blonde by his side and down again at his feet.

'Lila Chambers again, I assume?' he mumbled.

'Got it in one. The girl even skipped divination so she could come meet me,' snorted Lucius before he leaned back in the sofa with a satisfied sigh, 'I love desperation in a girl.'

The adult Lucius saw Snape frowning behind the curtains of his black hair. The boy suddenly got to his feet and made his way to the exit of the common-room.

'Where are you going?' Lucius asked sitting up, clearly surprised by Snape's abrupt departure.

'I'm going to see if there's any food left,' Snape muttered without looking back.

The present-day Lucius followed him down the passageway and watched with a heavy heart as the boy's lip quivered and tears steadily began to roll down his face. Lucius came to a stop, not wanting to see Severus upset any longer, and shook his head despairingly. He had been so blind as a teenager, so infuriatingly blind...


	7. Chapter 7

**More angst and broodiness! Poor Snape never gets a break.**

**Just to let you know again in case you had forgotten (snort): JKR owns the characters.**

*** Curtain pulls back ***

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Darkness fell again and Lucius felt his nose suddenly begin to sting with the smell of stale drink and tobacco. He blinked to find himself standing right in the middle of the Hog's Head Pub in the bustling village of Hogsmeade, while daylight tried to fight it's way inside through the gloomy, foggy windows.

He hadn't been here in a while. Narcissa hated the place and had forbidden Lucius from drinking there, saying that 'Surely a Malfoy of all people can find a more suitable place to go than that dump.' She had been right of course, the pub was truly a dive. Not to mention how bad anyone smelled after spending only half an hour in there.

He glanced to his right to find himself and Severus - looking about twenty years younger - huddled around a small table a few feet away. Both had in front of them a large glass of Firewhiskey – which he remembered as being something they used to drink rather too often back then – and appeared to be shaking with laughter – another thing they used to do a lot.

Lucius approached them, unable to keep a slight grin from his own face as he watched them enjoying themselves. How seldom that had become for them in recent years, Lucius thought, realising that he couldn't even remember the last time he had seen Severus laugh.

He stood over them and listened.

' - and they just sit there in their car mobile things practically pulling their hair out because all the other car machines in front of them aren't budging an inch! But,' Lucius countined with a snigger, obviously drunk and suddenly beckoning Severus to lean in further as if he was about to impart a precious piece of imformation, 'There's nothing I love more than zooming past those stupid muggles on my broom!'

And with that, they both hunched over in fits of silent laughter – too drunk to actually make a noise. Lucius suddenly stopped and turned stern as he looked at Severus.

'Severus?'

'Yes, Maf – Malf – Malfoy,' Severus stuttered, trying unsuccessfully to focus his attention.

'You know Narcissa Black, of course?' he said, suddenly fixing his gaze on the glass in front of him.

It was now Severus' turn to become solemn-faced. He looked at Lucius' slightly bent head.

'I know _of _her. Cygnus Black's youngest daughter, yes?' he replied, seeming eager to find out what Lucius was getting at.

'Thats right,' Lucius responded carefully, 'Well I'm not a particularly carefree young man anymore, and thirty-one is usually around the age a lot of men would choose to... to settle down. If they hadn't already, that is.'

He stopped and seemed to scan Severus' face. The present-day Lucius couldn't for the life of him remember this particular discussion, which was more than likely due to the fact that he had been... well, pissed. But he was intrigued nonetheless.

Severus' eyes flickered down to his glass, his brows beginning to furrow.

'I suppose,' he muttered.

'Well, considering Ms. Black is from a long line of purebloods, my father recently made the wise and very prudent suggestion that Narcissa and I entered into... a partnership of sorts - '

But before Lucius could finish his point, all three of them were startled when the door of the pub was suddenly flung open by a tall, slim, and blonde young woman. It was none other than Narcissa herself.

'Lucius, I've been looking absolutely everywhere in the village for you for the past hour and a half. You said you'd meet me outside Gladrags Wizardwear!' she said angrily as she marched towards them with her hands on her hips, 'You're supposed to be buying dress robes for the wedding and instead I find you in _the Hog's Head_?! Oh, hello Severus.'

'Oh, Narcissa, calm down and have a Firewhiskey why don't you,' Lucius joked, seemingly forgetting that he had been having a very serious conversation just moments ago. Severus merely glared at her.

'I will _not,_' she growled as she pointed towards the door, 'Out. _Now_.'

'Fine, fine,' Lucius grinned, standing up from the table. But after Narcissa had turned on her heel and started walking out, he leaned over to Severus and whispered not very discreetly into his ear.

'I asked her to marry me two days ago, and she said _yes,_' he hissed.

The present day Lucius took in Severus' expression at that very moment. It was a mixture of shock, confusion, and utter devastation.

Needless to say, the drunk Lucius never noticed. He stood up straight and just before he disappeared through the door he cried back,

'And you're to be my best man!'

Lucius cringed with the awkwardness of it all. He had been such an idiot, and highly insensitive considering how aware he had been about the confusing nature of their friendship.

He remembered the day he had proposed to Narcissa. He had felt utterly trapped by his father's wishes and the family tradition, yet he knew there was no way out. He hadn't shared the news with Snape immediately after simply because he wasn't happy about it and he knew it would be a blow to Severus somehow, though he didn't even fully understand why at the time.

And now here he was, observing the pitiable after-effects of his decision to marry. Snape merely sat there with his eyes glazed over, staring at the space in front him.

Soon after, a gruff-looking man accidentally knocked off his elbow causing Snape to completely lose the run of himself. He stood up and violently seized the collar of the now fearful man with his hands.

'Watch where the _fuck _you're going!' he roared in the man's wincing face. Snape then let go of him and stormed out of the pub, while the shocked crowd inside followed him cautiously with their eyes...

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*** Nudge * Review me? * Nudge * Please?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for the nice reviews ^_^ **

**This chapter is mainly a builder-upper to the finish, but it's still pretty significant so try not to write it off! Will have the final chapter up very soon...**

**Plot mine. Characters JKR's. Mmkay.**

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Lucius groaned when he felt his whole body jolt all over again, as if some invisible force had plucked him away and hastily dropped him in another location.

There wasn't a cloud in the sky as the sun beamed down on the Malfoy Manor and it's spacious grounds, almost making it look like a cheerful place if you ignored the gargoyles that occasionally dotted the building. Lucius, however, was paying no heed to these details as he felt impatience and anger slowly clench unpleasantly around his gut. He had seen more than enough at this stage and suddenly knew exactly why everyone loathed him so much; he was cruel, even to his best of friends, all because he was a coward through and through.

Fear had plunged him into denial, fear had put that ring on Narcissa's finger, and fear had blurred his eyes to the truth. And even now, fear was convincing him that it was far too late to change things, too late to put his mind at rest and do what he had yearned to do for decades – fear that in a sick kind of way relaxed Lucius. Because of it's constant presence in the back of his mind, he would never do anything about his feelings for Snape, and this calmed him.

_'How can someone like Severus be drawn to a rat like me. He doesn't deserve this,'_ Lucius thought as he shook his head in despair.

There was a loud * crack * and a relatively young-looking Snape suddenly appeared before him. The man stood strangely on the same spot for a few moments, simply staring up at the huge building that sprawled out in front of him. Looking anxious, Snape took three careful paces towards the door of the manor, but he promptly stopped in his steps with an exasperated sigh.

_'Oh for Merlin's sake, what the bloody hell is the man doing?' _Lucius wondered, screwing up his face in confusion as he watched his friend repeat what he had just done once again '_What are you waiting for, just go inside Severus!'_

After a long time spent stopping and starting, Snape finally reached the decadent door knob which was in the shape of a coiled snake. He reached out to turn it but was interrupted all of a sudden by the sound of a baby's cries floating from a second story window above his head.

_'Draco,' _Lucius noted with a faint smile.

Snape's outstretched hand fell back down by his side as he turned around and leaned his back against the large door. Lucius approached him and saw that the corners of his mouth were twitching downwards slightly, as if he was about to burst into tears. It then occurred to Lucius that this was more than likely a very sad day for Snape because it marked a definite end to any possibility of the two ever sharing anything romantic together - Draco had now become the binding glue that would hold Narcissa and Lucius' marriage firmly together.

As he began to walk closer to his friend, Lucius heard a strange bang radiate like a distant echo from behind his head. He turned around to find nothing out of the ordinary, but jumped as he suddenly felt a strange pressure on his shoulder.

The grounds of the Malfoy Manor began to swirl before Lucius' eyes and he soon found himself firmly on the ground in the potions master's dark living quarters, back in reality. His stomach lurched unpleasantly as he looked around and found, to his horror, that it had been Severus Snape's hand grasping at him. A very alarmed Severus Snape...

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	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry for taking a few days with this chapter! Smut just takes me a little longer to get the hold of.**

**Anywho, I hope you like it. And thanks again for the reviews!**

**Warning: Smutty smuttiness!**

**Disclaimer: 'Fraid these characters belong to JKR.**

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Before Lucius could even open his mouth, he found himself being thrown with tremendous force against a nearby bookcase by a violent shove from Snape's hands. The furious raven-haired man then grasped tightly around Lucius' robes and pinned him against the groaning shelves. Lucius cringed beneath Snape's tight grip, fearing that any second now Snape would crash a punch right through his face. But the punch never came. Instead, Snape simply stood there, shaking with white-hot anger, and glared at the platinum blonde before him.

The tension was palpable as they remained there, just centimetres away from each other's faces. This was torture for Lucius who was frantically racing through what he could possibly say in his mind.

'Severus – I - please - '

'Did you see _everything_?!' Severus snapped with a wildness in his eyes that terrified Lucius.

'Yes, I – well, I don't know – I suppose I did,' he replied exasperatedly. Snape's eyes widened. There was no way out of this mess. No excuse either of them could give to dismiss the situation. Lucius had seen all of it. And Snape knew it.

Lucius' gaze flickered away from the searing black eyes in front of him and watched as a drop of blood started to trickle from Snape's nose.

Severus, realising what Lucius must be staring at, jerked a hand up to it. He then looked down to find blotches of blood on his fingers and swung around to escape Lucius' gazing eyes.

This was by no means the first time Snape had had a nosebleed. He had been particularly susceptible to them during times of stress ever since he received an aggressive box on the nose from his drunken father at the age of nine. Thankfully, Snape had managed to correct the problem after brewing a special potion that he would drink occasionally when he expected a stressful situation. Today, however, he had gone without it.

The raven-haired man stormed over to his desk and opened one of it's drawers before taking out a small vial with blue liquid inside. He downed the fluid in one gulp and slumped onto the seat behind him.

The silence that smothered the room was momentarily broken when Snape picked up a glass beaker from the desk in front of him and hurled it against the wall with a blood curdling smash and a furious shout of 'Fuck!' through clenched teeth. Then, laying his left elbow on an arm rest, he raised his left hand up to his face and hid from Lucius' eyes behind long, slender fingers.

Lucius was rooted to the spot as he looked on, utterly shocked. It was then that he knew the situation had gone far enough - so far that it had crumbled even the powerful Severus Snape into a vulnerable mush. And Lucius hated seeing him like this.

He strode with a new determination towards Snape, taking off his heavy travelling cloak and letting it fall to the ground as he went, with a resoluteness fixed in his eyes. Severus cautiously rose his head from his hand when he suddenly sensed Lucius' presence beside him. And as he had guessed, there was the elegant blonde towering over where he sat, his silver eyes searing down into his black ones.

Severus' heart ripped in two as he lustfully gazed up at Lucius for a moment in total awe of his ethereal beauty. Beauty that he would never get the chance to taste or touch – perhaps even beauty that he would never see again after that evening, knowing that Lucius would no doubt be appalled by what he had experienced in the pensieve. And that, for Severus, would be worse than any torture the Dark Lord could ever deal out.

Snape's troubled thoughts were interrupted by the blonde suddenly swinging his chair around to face him and bending downwards, positioning himself right in front of the seat with his hands on each armrest. Their faces were now so close that they breathed the same air.

Then, taking a deep breath, Lucius dropped to his knees on the ground at Snape's feet and, to the dark-haired man's astonishment, he began to unbutton and unzip Severus' trousers.

'Lucius, what on earth are - ' Snape began, gaping down at him. But he was caught short when the platinum blonde reached up his hands, dragged Severus' face downwards to his own, and pressed their lips together.

After a few moments of uncertainty, the two men gradually parted their lips and penetrated each other's mouths with curious tongues. Both felt a fire ignite in their stomachs as the strange sensation of tasting one another swept over them. As they kissed, Snape lowered his shaking hands down to Lucius' porcelain face and pulled him in closer, drifting his thumbs gently over his strong jaw line as he did so.

Then Lucius pulled away and turned his attention back to Snape's trousers, and without looking up he started to speak.

'I'm going to say this once, and once only,' Lucius breathed, 'I'm in love with you, and I have been for an embarrassingly long time. It's really quite pathetic how you manage to reduce me to somewhat of an adolescent girl every time I'm around you. I believe I've even pictured you while making so-called _love _to my wife.'

Snape's eyes widened. He was completely flabbergasted by Lucius' revelation, not to mention thoroughly flattered by that last fact, and slowly felt his face begin to flush. But Lucius' final words were what touched him the most:

'And,' the Blonde continued, a pained expression visible through the curtains of hair, 'I'm sorry for being a despicable coward.'

And with that, Lucius drew Snape's now hardening cock to his mouth and, without hesitation, he wrapped his lips around it. Severus' head fell back as he gasped in surprise at the dreamlike sensation of Lucius' wet mouth enveloping him. He arched his back, whimpering while he suppressed the urge to thrust his hips forward. The intense suction created was almost overwhelming, and Snape soon felt beads of sweat gather along his brow.

Lucius didn't find the process disagreeable at all, in fact he quite enjoyed hearing Snape moan when he occasionally gave his shaft a teasing lick. But he didn't want it to end there, and so he stopped and got to his feet before turning around to face the desk with his back to Severus. Then, bending down, he carefully placed his hands on the surface.

Severus knew exactly what Lucius wanted him to do and, rubbing the pre cum that had gathered over the full length of his throbbing cock for lubrication, he rose from his seat and approached the Blonde.

'Take off everything,' Severus ordered in a low voice, and in response Lucius began to peal off his clothes, letting them drop to the ground, and bent over the desk once again.

Severus felt his breath catch in his throat as he stood in total awe of Lucius' perfect body. He was lean but he carried it extremely well along his elongated limbs, and Snape couldn't help the memory of a teenage Lucius naked in the shower at Hogwarts from flashing into his mind. The thought caused a fresh shot of desire to shock-wave through his body.

Snape stepped forward and nervously reached his hands outwards to let them rest on each of Lucius' hips in front of him. He marvelled at how soft and utterly flawless the skin was - not a scar in sight unlike his own haggard body - and drew himself closer until his erection was lightly touching off Lucius' behind.

'Tell me if you want me to stop,' Snape instructed anxiously, knowing that what he was about to do would hurt. Lucius looked back and nodded reassuringly in reply.

Then, with a rush of lust at the sight of Lucius' face, Snape penetrated him, stroking the Blonde's hips as he did so in an attempt to comfort him somewhat. Lucius let out a cry as the pain seared through him and made his body limp, all except for one part of his anatomy that pulsed pleasurably through the stinging.

To Lucius' relief, the pain gradually subsided with every thrust and he began to moan as wave after wave of ecstasy washed over him. Snape took this as an indication to build up speed and started to increase the momentum, going deeper inside Lucius as he did so.

Both men simultaneously felt a blissful warmth build up around their groins as they savoured thrust after merciless thrust, while years of tension, jealousy and sadness disappeared from their bodies. The knowledge that their feelings weren't unrequited rendered everything that had happened in the past irrelevant. All that mattered now was that they were here, now, making love.

Severus threw back his head with a cry and clutched desperately at Lucius' flesh as he felt an overwhelming release radiate from the head of his cock, all the way to the tips of his fingers. Just seconds later, Lucius felt a similar sensation and his head fell to the surface of the desk as a loud gasp escaped from his mouth.

The two men remained in that same position for a minute or so, panting as they fought to catch their breaths. Then Snape pulled away and wordlessly began to reassemble himself, not knowing what else to say or do. Meanwhile, Lucius picked his wand from the cold ground and pointed it at himself. All his clothes instantly reappeared on his body, looking immaculate as if they had never been gone.

They finally looked at each other, the expression on each of their faces completely unreadable.

'Well then,' Lucius began in a chirpy voice, 'I assume I'll see you here at the same time tomorrow. I'll be in the school again speaking to Umbridge, of course.'

And on that note, he turned on his heel and made for the door casually. He stopped before he put his hand on the door knob and looked back at Severus with a smile working it's way across his delicate mouth.

'Don't keep me waiting again, will you Severus?' he purred, and he finally disappeared through the doorway leaving Snape to fall back into his seat with his stomach fluttering uncontrollably, lost in utter infatuation for the man.

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**Eek, was it alright? It's really hard to know with smut...**

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